“Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.” –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Everyone talks about “trusting the process”. Okay, well here I am – ready to trust!
In all seriousness, I am here to write about my venture to trust. When I was 22, I was already unhappy at work and I’d barely worked for 2 years out of college. My job was good. I guess it was good. My job duties were satisfying but the atmosphere and culture of the non-profit I was working for was not good.
It wasn’t just ‘not good’, it was awful. It was so bad that we could never find anything positive to talk about. Everything was a rant, a complaint or backtalk towards management. I did my best not to participate. That was a challenge because I almost felt unwanted if I didn’t like management. There was a chain of command in what I call the “rant chain”. Someone (always the same someone) began the conversation, guided the hour long rant, and ended the rant with a provoking thought: quit this job and run away as fast as you can. So, I did.
I began trusting the process soon after I realized I’m capable of trust. That came just a few shorts months ago when I grew tired of feeling uptight about my choices. Maybe uptight isn’t the best way to describe it but I felt like I wasn’t really living. I was confined to someone else’s dream.
That was never my dream. I didn’t want to live someone else’s dream. That’s silly!
I’m now happy to say I have 5 clients for my freelance business and one internship. It’s a start – a HUGE start. I have no formal writing education, training or anything of the sorts. I grew my portfolio by pitching ideas to publications I was a fan of.
Here I am today with a wealth of publications who want to hear what I have to say.
I took a big risk quitting a job that gave me stability. If I’m not risking, than what am I doing? I’m stagnant and too “okay” with someone else’s choices.
Cheers to trusting! I’m not making my monthly rent payment but I am living. And I like that.